This is my firts post. I am not sure what to write.Why do I want to blog to the whole world about my struggles with trying to get pregnant? I am not sure what the answer to this question is yet. I guess I think that writting out my thoughts might somehow help me in this journey.
So.... I am on my first IVF after three failed IUIs. Today is the fourth day on Lupron. I am taking (supposed to have been taking) 10 units every day until the 26th. However due to some misunderstaing on my protocol instructions my DH was injecting 20 units for 3 days. Something made me read the protocal sheet again and although it said dosage is 0.2ml it compared this to 10units. 0.2ml is really 20 units.
So anyway, I called my RN, I will refer her to Angel RN since I think she is an Angel sent to us to support us in this difficult times. I will probably explain why in another blog later. Anyway ...so I call and leave a very long message stating that I think I was taking the wrong dosage and why. She emails me almost asap, and verified that I should be on 10 units since this practice never puts any of their patients in 20 units. She agrees that the protocol sheet was confusing.
So I ask her what do I do now. She says drop the dose to 10 units until the 26th. She assures me that there is no harm done. Somehow in this cycle I have somehow managed to finally be at peace. Several incidences in the recent past have ministered to me reminding me to leave my burdens at the feet of Jesus. The usual me is very analytical..which can sometimes
(ahh no many times) lead to stress.At any other time, this is what would be going through my mind..ok I am taking 10 units more than I should. This means that we have beem suppressing more than required. This inturns means that my ovaries will be even more asleep before we start stims. Finally I would have put the RN on the spot and been thoroughly upset.
Somehow this is not what happened. I am just at peace. I have come to the realization that without God all this is futile. Taking the wrong dose is obviously not a good thing but above all I have to trust God. My DH and I have gone through a lot and I can sincerely say that trusting God is a breakthrough for me. The peace I feel now has been absent for a long time. I do not know about tomorrow and what I will be feeling then but for today I am at peace.
Thank you all
Hi
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing and for visiting and linking to my site. I can't comprehend the pain you must feel after losing your daughter at 21 months and having so many infertility troubles too! Man, that must be so hard.
I'll be following your posts here and I really do hope IVF works for you and you get a baby. Our daughter died 8 days after yours - 17 Oct 09! Life can be sooo hard.
I will pray for you.