Out of my Control

CD12: Came from the Drs.Here is todays follicle count; RT:12.3mm, 18.6mm,11.9mm,11.5mm LT:13.6,17.3. In short I have 6 follicles that they can be measured but only 2 mature follicles. On the bright side this is one more mature follie today than two days ago. The Dr. said I should come in tomorrow but be ready to cancel IVF. The Dr. seems to think the rest are too small. I am still hopefull. Here is why... on sarturday I had 2 follies at 12 and 11 mm on the left ovary. Today one of these follies is 17mm. This is a 4-5 mm growth in 2 days. I am praying that the 4 follicles seen today grow at the same or higher rate. If this happens, I might just be in the clear. Also there is one more follie seen today. So there could be more that are still catching up. I am praying for 8 mature follies by tomorrow. I know this requires a miracle...so that is what I am praying for.

Anyway the Dr. said that if we cancel IVF we might switch to IUI that will be done on Thursday. He mumbled something about some insuarance companies not approving the switch......So what does this mean? I should have asked at the time but I did not. I guess we might have to pay for IUI out of pocket. I really prefer IVF because I really want to see how my egg and my DH sperm work together. I guess I just need to know whether or not there are any huge fertilization problems. It seems like monitoring for these types of issues can probably be analyzed better via an IVF.

But at the end of the day I know I have to be in Gods will so I have been praying a lot about all this asking for his blessings, his direction, his favour. Whichever way this goes I have put myself at Gods throne of mercy. I have done my best, but a lot of this is really out of my control. Truthfully I am scared and I have to try very hard to not get panicky(which I am known for)

Now I will try my best to forget all this and take my Uncle around for some more touristy stuff. It is supposed to be really hot today but I will be dressed for it today. It should be a good distraction.

CT