Moving on

I ran/walked 8 miles today. It actually was not that bad. The funny thing is I had to take a very long nap after (talk about regression). I am not sure if that is like taking two steps forward and one back. Anyway, the important thing is I did push myself to actually be able to complet 8 miles.....so thats good. The best thing however is that my DH was right by me. I have been married 6 years now. In all these years I have been trying to convince my DH to be my excercise partner. He really doesnt like to exert himself that way ..especially not by running. But he finally came around and is actually running faster than me. We have been running together for 4 weeks now and I really like it. I hope he doesnt get bored and keeps at it. (His gut needs the excercise :) )

Today I noticed something. Most of the friends I have, have children. Last year I went to more birthdays than I can count. This year only one of my girlfriends invited me to her little girls birthday. I have been in mourning for the last 9 months since my daughter passed away. but does this mean that I have to find new friends? New friends without children? A girlfriend called me yesterday after a long silence, she has a little boy. We talked about work, and other general topics. Then she asked me how I am really doing. Honestly I did not feel like saying anything or being truthful. I just said I was ok. She said she thinks of me and prays for us often. I need true friends who will be there for me through thick and thin. So I think I have to move on. Maybe they do not know what to say so they stay away...I tell myself.....and then I think if they were really true friends they would come see me or call me more often. So right now I feel lonely and sad. But I guess I have to move on.

On to IF issues, so far so good. My Estradol was 43 yesterday. My Angel RN called me with my bloodwork results and told me to stop the Lupron since they do not think I will ovulate before retrieval. I think its also because my Estrogen levels were so low. She said that they see an average 3000-4000 Estradol levels at retrieval. So I am thinking that my levels are really low. Retrieval might be anywhere after the 12th of August. I will be going for US and BW tomorrow at 7:00 am. ...how fun. So this cycle is moving on as it should. Hopefully we will see some good stuff tomorrow with the US.

This evening my DH and I will put some steaks on the grill and treat ourselves to a nice meal. Hopefully I will stop feeling so alone.

Thanks all
CT