Quiet Me O Lord

Thanks Melissa and Becky for your encouraging comments. I feel much better today so I will post something. I had ET yesterday morning. All 3 embies fertilized and were good enough to transfer. I for once did not want to know too many details as I was already nervous and stressed out. (Did I mention that my BP was elavated just before and during ER...)DH and I are just glad that we could have some transfered. I only had slight cramping yesterday and thats it.

The Endometrium pills are still being pushed up the girls area three times a day. I am on estrace twice a day, 1 asprin and 1 prenatal. I am also taking Omega 3.

Interesting fact I forgot to mention is that ER was actually on my birthday. DH gave me a very nice silver bracelet with a heart shape on one end. as I lay in bed with a huge bloated belly and still sleepy from the anesthesia (I think). I was thinking... I am really a simple person and he nailed it with this gift. Very pretty and understated...just the way I like it.

The ER and ET sections have very friendly stuff. They hugged,encouraged and give a lot of words of wisdom. I was really impressed and felt like somebody really understood how hard this whole process is.

So this is officially the 2WW. I hope that there will be good news at the end of these wait. I trust that God knows the desires of my heart and if it is his will he shall bless us with a pregancy in this cycle. Its amazing how much calmer I am now that the embies were transfered. Sometimes I have butterflies (nerves) but I have to have all this in perspective. As the RN assisting with ET told me "You have done all you can just relax and let it be." Easier said than done...which she also said.

I am reading a book by Debra Bidwell :The Ache for a Child and liked the verse in first chapter Psalm 94:19 "Lord when doubts fill my mind, when my heart is in turmoil,quiet me and give me renewed hope and cheer". This is my prayer for these two weeks.

I will be going to the library tomorrow to return some books and maybe get some more. I was truly blessed in that I have this month off of work to focus on IVF. I took the time to really rest but now I am running out of things to do. I will start talking to my HR so they can start looking for another project for me (I travel a lot for my work.) I guess I could also start looking at our project database to help out in the placement process. August 28th is my last official day on the brak. After that I really should be on a project. But I really thank God because he came through for me and enabled me to do this at this time.

One thing I need to stop doing is check Dr Google and other IF blogs in search of symptoms and success rates among other 2ww related nerve wrecking behaviour such as constantly prodding my chest area(which was already sore I guess due to the Injectibles). I will however focus more on reading and commenting on other IF blogs that I am currently following.

So I hope that this blog encourages somebody out there just as I am encouraged so far that God is faithful and he does perform miracles....Remember a few days ago my cycle was being cancelled and we actually got 7 eggs. To many this might be few but I chose to look at it as a miracle. If we did the math 3/7 is about a 42 % fertlization rate. This is great based on the last two weeks of ups and downs. So even if I choose to just look upto this moment I can still say to God be the glory for he has done great things. Thanks to everybody who thought about us or prayed for us. (This understanding also made me not want to know too much about the fertilized eggs that had successfully started dividing. I deeply now understand that it is only God that made those eggs,made the sperm and egg fertilize , made the eggs start dividing so it is futile to want to know all the minute details.) At the end of the day God is the author of life.

God bless you all.

CT